Levántate.

Tras tres meses de tormenta, la calma ha de volver...
Hoy empecé con mas dudas que otra cosa pero si no lo hago por mí, ¿por quién?
Me da miedo subirme al peso.
Me da miedo ver cuánto he cogido.
Me da miedo pensar que bajé hasta los 81, y que ahora esté 10 arriba.

De nuevo a empezar... qué fastidio no poder controlar mi cabeza, mis ganas, mi ansiedad, mis tentaciones, mi locura... qué fastidio empezar tras haberlo hecho tan tan bien la vez pasada... pero bueno, así es la vida: llegas a lo más alto, vas tropezando, caes, te quedas en el suelo una buena temporada y a volver a empezar...

Día 1: Empezamos fuerte.

Hoy ha sido un buen día en cuanto a dieta se refiere: he estado tan ocupada que no me ha dado tiempo a pasar hambre. No obstante, me he pesado esta mañana y me he asustado.. 88,9.... espero que sea por retenciones y demás. He de beber más líquidos y más té verde.. he de intentarlo.

• Desayuno: café con leche, tostada y pavo.
• Almuerzo: pan y pavo.
• Comida: Ilustrada y ternera.
• Merienda: chocolate y pavo.
• Cena: plancha.

Día 0: Los momentos previos.

¿Por qué siempre que medio consigo algo, ocurre cualquier chorrada que me hace ir como los cangrejos y volver al punto de inicio?

Conseguí bajar a los 81, con un BMI de 29.5, dejando la obesidad atrás y tuve que engordarme, de nuevo hasta los ochentaytantos... Mañana ya de ya, empiezo:

• adiós navidad
• adiós excusas

• hola ganas de trabajar
• hola ganas de esforzarme
• hola ganas de controlarme

No hay otra, he de volver a coger el camino. Espero perder los 4 primeros kilos pronto ya que han sido navidades pero a saber... Mañana a las 18h, espinning. ¡Ya veremos!

Estancada

Llevo un mes yendo a una nutricionista que si bien me manda menús que cumpla, me los paso por el forro. Básicamente me obligué a ir a una nutricionista para no decaer en la comida saludable y el ejercicio. 

Aunque ya voy notando cambios sobre todo por el ejercicio y el no comer guarrerias, llevo un par de semanas algo estancada entre los 5,4 y los 7,2. Necesito bajar y ver ya los 4,0... Miedo me da porque me marcho a la playa 3 días y, aunque ahora me estoy mega esforzando, miedo me da que me engorde y no se vea todo este trabajo que llevo realizando en estas últimas semanas en la báscula.

Creo que empezaré a escribir más a menudo.

Mi meta de la semana es... caminar todo lo posible mientras esté en la Playa para quemar todo lo que coma.... ¿Lo conseguiré!

Aquí tengo algunas cosas que debería de mejorar:

• Reducir aún más mis platos.
• Dejar de tomar Oatmeal antes de dormir.
• Hacer cenas más ligeras.

Me voy a poner un objetivo cada semana. Como el viernes, sábado y domingo andaré por laplaya, me quedo con el objetivo de caminar...

¡Yo puedo hacerlo!

Day 4

I'm still doing the healthy eating right! However, I'm suppossed to eat 1220 Kcal and I had around 1500 today. The thing is that I used to count all the calories burnt but not lately. I want to eat 1220 no matter how much I move.

I somehow feel lighter. Is that possible in just four days? It may be due to all the liquids lost (or peed haha) thanks to the help of green tea. I drink it twice a day but in double proportions: that's 4 bags per day and I kinda feel it. Besides, except for today that I overate 300Kcal, I've been doing it perfectly.

Day 2.

Today was an okay day. Not bright. Not bad. I had real fun with my mates, though and that was cool. I'm an elementary school teacher and we were even stupidly dancing at the teachers' staff room. However, once again I ended up really tired. The thing is also my mood, but it will get better... eventually. Hopefully...

Anyway, I had a massage scheduled for 7pm and it was nice. She helps me with my back. All my muscles get too tight from stress so she massages my back, neck and head manually, which is the best way for the muscles to recover. She is one of those people who associate the pain in certain areas with different types of problems in your life... For instance, the upper back means stress with your professional life, the middle back means problems with yourself (lack of self-love, confidence or whatever), whereas the hips means stress with important matters. The right side of your body represents the male side so if it hurts it means you're having problems with your dad, your husband or whatever... and the left side, which is guided by the right side of the brain, represents the feminine side,

My diet was great today, with a total of 1247Kcal. I just hope to have the strength. I am not using a scale since it depresses me so I tried my super tight size 34 Pepe Jeans and I will try them again in 15 days. We'll see!

Back to basics.

It took me two months to start over. I was not strong enough. First, the university finals, then, the stress, then I forgot. But Im back for good. Or that's what I want to believe.

First day has not been glorious but I dont expect to shine but to do it okay, step by step, little by little.

Lately I have not been feeling okay. Sort of down, negative... I used to be so optimistic... now look at me. Experience, they call it? I don't know. I remember being much happier and playful and nicer than this. Also, I feel really far from proud about my looks. I am so much bigger... sometimes i even feel I lack the energy to do things... and those pains in my lower back. These last two weeks have been intense. I guess I have to believe my boyfriend when he says he finds me hot. I find myself disgustingly fat. That kind of affects me, mentally speaking. I lack energy, as I said and I'm much more negative. Call me superficial but mental and physical have an influence on each other and I have to start taking care of myself.

I'm far from happy. Anyway, I grabbed these jeans and I tried them. They were kinda tight so I recorded some video. I'll try them on in 15 days and check if there's any difference... and like that until I actually fit.

We'll see how it is going. I don't except anybody to read this. I just do it for myself, for my very own moral support.

See ya,
xoxo.